I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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