you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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