This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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