I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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