So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My pussy is not your playground.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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