Don't make out with my wife yet
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
