dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
