Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
