It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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