so explain again why im purple
no
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
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Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
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Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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