Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
