this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
