It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
