Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
