By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
