You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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