i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
