please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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