my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
