come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
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You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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