just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just tell him i said nine months
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize