call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
