We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
