it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I currently don't understand fingers.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
