pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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