well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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