just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
