Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
