Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
