Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
