Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
