My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
