just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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