I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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