two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
