Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
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He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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