Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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