Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I've blown a few things in my day
He passed out mid-signature
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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