Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
