what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
