im drinking this country out of the recession.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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