i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
