He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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