I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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