I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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