I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
