So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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