From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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