Where did you get a picture of my penis
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
