he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
