You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My penis needs a shock collar
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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