He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
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