evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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