"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
