Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My vagina just clenched in fear
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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