You're so nebulous sometimes
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
