I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
