I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
