i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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