I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
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Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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